101 Rejections
by Broken Gold
Summary: Basically it's one of those fics were James repeatedly gets rejected 101 times to exact by Lily Flower. Rated for language in later chapters.
1. Of Cliffs and Megaphones

HI! I don't own anything! Seriously not even the idea! I got it from Heart4Hapiness (THANK YOU) and sinc it's not a numbered list it's not against the terms and conditions.

* * *

"LILY!"

"... Do I know you?"

"It's me! James Potter! Remember me?"

"Oh you! Aren't you the prick who made fun of Severus and I on the train?'

"Erm..."

"What do you want anyway?"

"Go out with me?"

"No."

"...Well that was uncreative."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"EVANS!"

"What?"

"Please go on a date with me! We can go to the mountains behind the Forbidden Forest."

"Can I push you off?"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Potter!"

"Yes, Evans?"

"Would you like to go a date with me?"

"YES!"

"Good to know."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

Singing "Lily I love thee! Lily I doooo! When we're a part my hearts beats only for yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou! Because Lily-"

"JAMES! WHAT IS THAT INFERNAL RACKET YOU'RE MAKING!"

"I'm singing my love! Isn't it romantical?"

"... Okay, 1: That's not a word Potter!"

"But-"

"And 2: IT SOUNDED LIKE A DIEING MOOSE!"

"Stag."

"What?"

"Nothing."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily! I would travel to Pluto and back for you!"

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Go to Pluto?"

"No, come back."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"My Lily Flower! Sweetest of all the others-"

"No."

"Oh COME ON!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lilykins!"

"What now Potter?"

"I brought you flowers!"

"Lily's?"

"Yes!"

"Cliché, Potter."

"Darn."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"OH MY LILY! DARLINGEST GIRL IN THE WORLD!"

"Potter! Why are you holding a megaphone?!"

"So that all of Hogwarts can hear how much I love you Flower!"

"...James."

"Yes?"

"We're not at Hogwarts."

"Oh... Where are we then?"

"At Remus' house."

"Oh yeah..."

"Git."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"LILY! I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU!"

"Black told you to say that didn't he?"

"...Maybe."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily look! Mistletoe!"

"...You're not under it with me, James."

"...Then who is?"

"Severus."

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

So yeah. Basically I'll do about ten per chapter because that should allow me to update once everyday or two. Hope you enjoy it!


	2. Shakespeare and Rabbits

You've discovered my secret! i'm JKRowling writning on Fanfiction instead of writing a section like this in a new book called Hogwarts a History. That is EXACTLY why I support NL even though I told the world it would never happen! I'm amazed nobody ever noticed! XD

* * *

"Roses are red, Violets are blue, Lily's are sweetest they remind me of you."

"The Roses are wilted, the Violets are dead, James Potter has a big, fat, arrogant head!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"What light through yonder great hall breaks! 'Tis the east and Lily is the sun."

"Thou drivest me past the bounds of a maidens patience!"

"But Flower-"

"POTTER!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Go out with me?"

"..."

"What?"

"Did you run out of horrible pick up lines all ready?"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

_Singing_, " With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride, You're toxic I'm slipping under, With a taste of a poison paradise, I'm addicted to you, Don't you know that you're toxic, And I love what you do, Don't you know that you're-"

"POTTER!"

"Yes my sweet flower?"

"WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS DO THESE HORRID IMPERSONATIONS OF A DYING MOOSE!"

"Stag, Evans. A dying stag."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Oh my Lily of the VAAAAAAAAAAAALLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"

"What now Potter?"

"Are you busy today?"

"No, but you are."

"What?"

"The full moon rises in 3 minutes."

"...OH MERLIN I FORGOT!"

"..."

"What?"

"I just accused you of being a werwolf..."

"Oh... Well I'm not but I've really got to go now!"

"Oh, my hearts breaking."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"You. Me. The Three Broomsticks. 8 'oclock."

"You. me. Horrible spork-related death. Now."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lilykins!"

"What now Potter?"

"I brought you more flowers!"

"Lily's?"

"Not this time! They're petunias."

"...POTTER I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"LILY I BOUGHT YOU A BUNNY!"

"...No"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HE BIT ME!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"I'll save you Lily!"

"Potter what are you doing!'

"Rescuing you from the Giant Squid's evil clutches of course!"

"...Potter we happen to be in the Great Hall."

"Oh. Go out with-"

"Don't even ask."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily look! Mistletoe!"

"...You're still not under it with me, James."

"...Then who is it THIS time?"

"Remus."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

By the way I'm also Shakespeare in disguise brought back from the dead hundreds of years later. And Britney Spears. Yup.


	3. Venus Flytraps and Sirius Black

Still not owning anything.

* * *

"Lily, I swear if you go out with me I'll buy you a diamond the size of Hogwarts!"

"You _already_ bought me a diamond the size of Hogwarts."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Evening, Evans."

"...It's noon."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Go for a walk with me?"

"Drown in the lake for me?"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

_Singing again_, "Lily flower, you're power, to make me stare is amzing, I love you, I love you, I doooooooooooooo, for Lily Flower your the greaes thing on ear-"

"POTTER!"

"Come to coonfess your love sweet Flower?"

"Come to make you stop sounding like a dying stag!"

"Dying moose. I mean- Darn it."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"I AM A MILKSHAKE! ARE YOU A MILKSHAKE? ARE YOU A MILKSHAKE TO?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"...I think this was some futile attempt at asking you out."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Go out with me?"

"Potter..."

"PLEASE? I'M RUNNING OUT OF PICK UP LINES!"

"Yes, I could tell."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily Billy!"

"What now Potter?"

"I brought you even more flowers!"

"Lilyies and petunias?"

"Not this time! They're Venus fly-traps."

"...POTTER IT'S GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"Don't you mean I'm?"

"NO POTTER IT'S-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!"

"Carnivorous..."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"I'd fight a dragon to win your heart."

"I hope it burns you to a crisp."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Did you know that you only mock the people you love?"

"Yes."

"Then you love me!"

"But you James Potter break so many rules that one more wouldn't be so bad."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily look! Mistletoe! AGAIN!"

"You're STILL not under it with me, James."

"ARGH? WHO IS NOW?"

"Black."

"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

TADA!


	4. Moonlit strolls and Breaking Mirrors

Still not owning anything.

* * *

"Lily, if you looked in a mirror you'd see the most beautiful thing in the world smiling right back at you."

"And if you looked in the mirror, you'd melt your eyes."

"HEY!"

"Actually, that would be an improvement."

"...DOUBLE HEY!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Fancy a moonlit stroll?"

"At breakfast?"

"...Yes."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"I love you with everything dear to me."

"I hate you with everything near to me."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

_Singing again_, "Yesterday I spotted you, hangin' out with someone new-"

"Look moose boy. That 'someone' happened to be my boyfriend."

"Oh... YOUR WHAT?"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Flooooooooooooooooooooooooooower!"

"James-"

"YOU CALLED ME JAMES!"

"..."

"I scared you didn't I.

"A little."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Marry me?"

"I'd rather elope with a squid."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"I know how to set the house-elves free!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! I can show you if you give me your clothes!"

"..."

_Is slapped_ "OWWWWWWWW!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Go out with me?"

"Are you going to do this EVERYTIME you run out of pick-up lines."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"If I could clone you then there would be something beautiful everywhere I went."

"That's sweet, James."

"Really? Yes. But if I could clone you, I wouldn't."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily look! More mistletoe! AGAIN!"

"JAMES YOU AREN'T UNDER IT WITH ME! FOR THE 4th TIME!"

"ARGH? WHO IS _THIS_ TIME?"

"Frank Longbottom."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

* * *

TADA!


	5. Roses and Boyfriends

Still not owning anything.

* * *

"If flowers were love I'd give you trillions."

"If flowers were love you would be holding a burn petunia."

"Why a petunia?"

"Because I hate them!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Fancy a chocolate frog?"

"Erm... no..."

"Oh, me neither."

"Right, Potter."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"I love you!"

"The feeling isn't mutual!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

_Singing again_, "And I want to hold your haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, and take the pain awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, for I love you I dooooooooo, it's truuuuue-"

"Shut up I'm begging yoooooooooooooooooooooou."

"But Evans-"

"Just dooooooooooooooo."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"LILY EVANS WHO IS THAT BOY!"

"My boyfriend."

"...LET ME KILL HIM!"

"_STUPEFY!_"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"LIIIIIIIIIIILY!"

"No, Potter. Just no."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Help me free the thestrals?"

"You could bait them with your head!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Go out with me?"

"NO POTTER!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"If I had a rose for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you. I'd only have one rose rose."

"If I had a galleon for every time I saw someone as ugly as you, I would be rather broke."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily look! More mistletoe! FOR THE FIFTH TIME!"

"James! YOU _**STILL**_ AREN'T UNDER IT WITH ME!"

"GAH! WHO _**NOW**_?"

"Pettigrew."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

TADA!


	6. Floating and Sneezing

Still not owning anything. Sorry I haven't updated lately. Writers Block.

* * *

"LILY! WHO DID I JUST SEE YOU WITH?"

"My boyfriend."

"But- But- But, that's not the same guy."

"Oh, yeah, I dumped the other one last month."

"SO I MISSED MY CHANCE?"

"You never _**HAD**_ one, Potter."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"I here Honeydukes has a lovely new kind of chocolate."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes."

"What's it called?"

"Floating Fudge."

"Oh?"

"Yes, it makes you hover about ten feet of the ground."

"I'll have to try that sometime."

"You could try it with me."

"If I give you 4 would you get stuck to the ceiling?"

"Yeah..."

"Fabulous. Why don't you go get some?"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"LILY! LILY BILLY! LILY BILLY TILLY! LILY BILLY TILLY WILLY! LILY BI-"

"WHAT?"

"...Darn, I forgot my pickup line."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

_Singing **again**_, "Lilykins! You're sweet Lilyness is-"

"Shut up Moose!"

"I'M A STAG!"

"..."

"I mean... ELEPHANT!"

"..."

"Crud. I just called myself a bloody elephant didn't I?"

"..."

"Darn."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily I-"

"_REDUCTO!_"

"AHHHHHH! ...Why did you blow up a pebble?"

"I scared you, right?"

"Yeah."

"There you go."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Flowers for my flower?"

"They aren't carnivorous this time?"

"No, they're daisys!"

"Potter I'm. _Achoo!_ Alergic. _Achoo_. To. _Achoo._ Daisys. _Achoo!_"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

James: I want to be a waffle.

Sirius: Why?

James: Because Lily loves waffles.

Sirius:...But she would eat you...

James: Really?

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"I bought you a book."

"...It's _Hogwarts a History_."

"And?"

"Everyone in the school owns _Hogwarts a History_."

"...They do?"

"Yes! Honestly, don't you read?"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"If I had a rose for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you. I'd only have one rose rose."

"If I had a galleon for every time I saw someone as ugly as you, I would be rather broke."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily look! More mistletoe! FOR THE SIXTH TIME!"

"James! YOU -- _**STILL**_ -- AREN'T UNDER IT WITH ME!"

"GAH! WHO IS IT _**NOW**_?"

"..."

"Lily?"

"..."

"STOP KISSING AMOS DIGGORY THIS INSTANT!"

"..."

"LIIIIIIIIIIIILY! STOP IT!"

"..."

"FLOWER!"

* * *

TADA!


	7. Marlene McKinnon and the Mistletoe

-- _**Still**_ -- not owning anything.

* * *

"My darlingest Lily-"

"NO!"

"But-"

"POTTER YOU ARE ALREADY DATING MARLENE MCKINNON!"

_Marlene_ "JAMES POTTER DO NOT ASK OUT ANOTHER WOMAN!"

"MERLIN, MARLENE! THAT HURT!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Marry me under a moonlit sky?"

"No!"

"You suck."

"EXCUSE ME?!"

"..."

"_LOCOMOTER MORTIS_!"

"Lily! How am I supposed to play Quidditch with my legs stuck together?"

"That's your problem, isn't it?"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Why are you staring at me?"

"..."

"Is it because I'm so handsome you're just lost in my-"

"You do realize Marlene has glued an octupus to your head right?"

"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

"Someone thinks they're a pirate."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"..."

"..."

"Weird."

"What is?"

"It's just, by now you've usually tried your moose impersonations again."

"Stag."

"I thought you said they were of an elephant."

"What? Oh... Darn."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

_Writing notes_ "You're the prettiest girl I've ever met."

_Sirius_ "Mate, you just chucked it at Emmeline Vance.

"What does the note say Em?"

_Emmeline_ "I haven't looked yet. Wow his writing is really messy."

"Let me see, _You are the pettiest girl I have ever met_!?"

_Emmeline_ "JAMES POTTER I WILL KILL YOU!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Flowers my sweetest Flower."

"..."

"Oh Merlin you aren't Lily."

_Marlene_ "JAMES POTTER GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"OW! Marlene- ow- stop- ow- slapping- OW- me!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"LILYKINS!"

"IF YOU EVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN YOU WILL SUFFER!"

"But Lilykins-"

"_Tartanguella_!"

"Lily!"

"Wow Potter. You really are a horrible dancer."

"You can't just leave me here! Lily! Lily! Come back!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"I-"

"-will die a horrible painful death in two seconds?"

"No."

"Darn."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"I love you!"

"I loathe you!"

"Loathe means love right?"

"..."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily look! More mistletoe! I'M UNDER IT!"

"That's fabulous... I'm not."

"What? WHO IS?"

"Marlene McKinnon."

"WHAT? I'M UNDER MISTLETOE WITH MY EX-GIRLFRIEND!"

"Yes. You may want to pray to Godric right now."

* * *

YAY! I'M DONE CHAPTER 7!


	8. Marriage and Evan Wood

-- _**Still**_ -- not owning anything.

* * *

"Sweetest Lily, will you accompany me to the Museum of Magic?"

"..."

"Well?"

"..."

"I'll just leave before you hex me then."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Marry me?"

"No."

"But we're already in seventh year!"

"Mhm..."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Want to play spin the bottle with me and the Marauders?"

"I don't think playing spin the bottle with my boyfriend and his best mates would be a good idea."

"Oh... what? Which boyfriend?"

"Why, Black of course!"

"Oh... WHAT?"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"It's been two months since you've pretended to be a moose."

"Stag."

"Right, why?"

"Oh no reason, do you want me to-"

"NO!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Kiss me?"

"In front of my boyfriend!?"

"I already know you aren't dating Sirius!"

"..."

"What?"

"He's right behind you."

"Who?"

"My boyfriend."

"What? YOU'RE DATING EVAN WOOD?"

"Erm..."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lillies for my Lily Flower."

"You already tried those."

"Darn."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily why wont you go on one, bloody date with me?"

"Because you are a coxcombry, arrogant prat."

"A whaty, arrogant prat?"

"Look it up."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Please-"

"No."

"Go-"

"No."

"Out-"

"No."

"With-"

"No."

"Me."

"No."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"PLEASE MARRY ME!"

"Potter..."

"What?"

"Put down the megaphone."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily look! More mistletoe! YOU'RE UNDER IT!"

"...With Orpheus Krum."

"WAHAHAHA!"

* * *

YAY! I'M DONE CHAPTER 8!


	9. Ears and Break Ups

Long time no update. No excuse so here you go.

* * *

"Lily, please come to Hogsmeade with me."

"I'm already going out with Evan remember."

"Wood can come to. It'll be a... double date."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, you're boyfriend can go with my girlfriend I can go with you."

"..."

"OW! LILY STOP SLAPPING- ARGH- ME!

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Oi! Lily! Ditch Wood and come with me to the Shrieking Shack."

"As. if."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily! I'm drowning! HELP ME!"

_Evan_ "Should we save him?"

"No."

"Help me- gurglegurglegurp!"

"Black, go save Potter."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"I'm going to sing again."

"Oh please don't Potter!"

"Ahem!"

_Evan_ "SILENCIO!"

"Why thank you, Evan!"

"No problem, Lily."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Why are you crying Lily?"

"We- We- We broke up!"

"Oh, Lily I'm sorry."

"Why are you s-sorry? Now you can just asked me out without my boyfriend jinxing you to d-d-death."

"But you're crying. It's not good. Smile?"

"TARTANGULA!"

"ARGH! Lily!"

"Now _that_ makes me smile."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Orchids for my Lily."

"That's sweet, Potter."

"Really?"

"If it was anyone else then yes."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily-"

"Shouldn't you be with Remus?"

"What?"

"The full moon. It's tonight."

"What? Oh my Godric! Wait- How do you-"

"Remus and I have been friends since first year, Potter."

"Oh."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"You are beautiful, delicate flower that shines in the moonlight."

"You're an ugly, wilted vine that shrivels in the sunshine."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Please give me one kiss."

"Close your eyes!'

"Eep!"

"Ready?"

"Yes."

"Alright. DIFFINDO!"

"Oi! YOU CUT OFF MY EAR!"

"Go to the hospital wing then Potter."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily look! More mistletoe! YOU'RE UNDER IT AGAIN!"

"...With Evan."

"Oh, Lily please don't start crying again."

"Well, why shouldn't I?"

_Evan_ "I'm going to leave now."

"STUPEFY!"

"JAMES POTTER! DO NOT HEX MY EX-BOYFRIEND! ACCIO PUFFER FISH!

"Ugh! Lily! Stop hitting me with that bloody puffer fish!"

* * *

2 more chapters after this.


	10. Roses and Thorns

So, here's the thing. I'm on my school computer and I didn't expect this to be p so fast. This should be done the week of June 20th though.

* * *

"Have you ever heard of Sleeping Beauty?"

"Yes."

"Well, could you tell me what it is?"

"..."

"What?"

"I thought this was going to be a pickup line."

"Did you want it to be?"

"Not really."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"I'm hungry."

"Have some ice cream."

"OH YOU DID NOT JUST TURN MY HAIR INTO A SUNDAE!"

"Goodbye, Potter."

"No! Lily! Come back!"

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"I'm glad you're not 85."

"So am I."

"YOU INTERRUPTED MY PICK UP LINE!"

"With good reason."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"2, 4, 6, 8! Who do we appreciate? LILY!"

"Potter. Just stop."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Potter!'

"Yes?"

"I wanted you that your really important to me."

"I am?"

"Everyone needs a human punching bag."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"I didn't know what flowers to get you this time so I just got you a rose like Remus said."

"It's really- ouch!"

"Sorry, the thorns are still on it."

"Every rose has it's thorns."

"Every Lily has it's James?"

"Maybe..."

"MAYBE?"

"Maybe I'll throw you off a cliff next week."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Hey, Lily."

"What do you want?"

"You're sitting by the lake alone. Is something wrong?"

"Boy stuff."

"Still upset about Wood?"

"...Um... Yes. That's it."

"He's blind."

"What?"

"He gave you up. He's to blind to see how perfect you are."

"That's really sweet, Potter."

"Thanks."

"It gives me probable reason to believe that you read cheesy romance novels."

"I DO NOT!"

"Potter."

"Much."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"I love you."

"I don't."

"Love yourself?"

"Love you."

"YOU SAID LOVE YOU!"

"..."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Hi, Potter."

"Did you just say hi to me?"

"Yes..."

"Does this mean you're going to go out with me now?"

"Oh, well, I don't think so."

XoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Lily look! We're finally under the mistletoe together."

"Oh, yes. I suppose we are."

"KISS TIME!"

"Um... I guess."

"..."

"..."

"Well, that was..."

"I KISSED LILY EVANS! WOOHOO!"

"Oh yes- well I'm going to- Erm, goodbye!"

* * *

1 more chapter.


	11. Porridge and Akward Conversations

Back after a REALLY long time. Here's the final chapter.

* * *

"Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"We've been getting along well lately."

"I suppose we have."

"So... We're friends?"

"I suppose you could say that."

"Friends who happen to be standing... under mistletoe?"

"What?"

"Look up."

"Oh... Yes I suppose we are."

"So... As friends under mistletoe we should-"

"Kiss?"

"Yeah, that."

"Um... I guess."

"OK."

"Wait!"

"What?"

"You said you wanted to ask me something tonight."

"I did? When?"

"At breakfast... You had porridge on your face from Sirius' backfired prank."

"Oh, right, that."

"Yes that."

"Do you want to go out with me?"

"...What no cheesy pick up line?"

"Do you want one?"

"No, no, no! That's OK!"

"So... is that a yes?"

"No."

"No?"

"That's an absolutely."

"Absolutely yes."

"Oh... So now can I kiss you?"

"If you must."


End file.
